in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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