its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
