I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
