all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
