Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
