is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
