im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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