he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
When did angry sex become our thing?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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