yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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