Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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