Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
