life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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