North Korea, Best Korea!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
