Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Randomize
