ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
