Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
