why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize