I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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