a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
