No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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