In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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