did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
