what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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