She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
