maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
