I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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