sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
