Is it normal to miss your booty call?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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