didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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