there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
