Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
In other news, I just burned my penis
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
