Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
