Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
