he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
