She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
