remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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