I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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