i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
