Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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