i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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