I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i barfeds in our rink
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
