She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
