Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
