Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
