I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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