Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
