so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
