found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
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you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
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Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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