Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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