Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
