Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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