that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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