so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We left the knife in your bed.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
