its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
