She is in my trunk
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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