I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize