just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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