i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
