all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
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He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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