She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
