grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
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we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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