i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize