listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
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