so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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