Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
