watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
