In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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