you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
